COVID-19- A Catalyst for Change

2020 has been a pretty difficult year. There were so many things that happened, and so many things that became catalyst for change. For me personally, 2020 has been a year of hard work and major life changes. At this time last year, I was in the full swing of my addiction. I was alone on the streets in Phoenix and my family had no idea where I was or if I was even alive. I had been on an almost two-year long run of hard drug use and everything that comes along with that. I was feeling alone, afraid and in a state of severe depression. My drug use had taken a major toll on me and I just wanted to give up. I reached a place of complete hopelessness. I made a call to one of my friends who is in recovery and he picked me up and drove me to the hospital so I could detox. After detox I went to a six-week residential program. Once I completed the program I decided to come back to California. My girlfriend at the time was living in LA and it had been a long time since we had seen each other. She had gotten clean a year before me and was doing really well. After spending a few weeks together, she decided it wasn’t going to work out and ended our three-year relationship with a text. I was caught completely off guard and was totally heartbroken. The only way I knew to cope with that kind of pain was to use. After using for a few weeks, I came to the realization that she was right to break up with me. Our split helped me to see what a loser I really was. Even though I wasn’t using I was still the same person. The only thing that had changed was the fact that I wasn’t getting high. She had been moving forward with her life and I was what was continuing to hold her back. Although I’m still hurt, I’m grateful for what happened because it was what gave me the final push, I needed to really give everything I have to recovery. Now, six months later, I feel like I’ve come a long way. Even though some days are still a struggle, they are becoming easier and easier to deal with. 2020 has tested me in a lot of ways, but I feel like I have overcome what may turn out to be the most difficult part of my life. Hopefully with continued work and dedication to my program, 2021 will be a year of love, happiness and success.