Addiction- A Form of Control

As an addict, I love control. If you are not an addict and are reading this, I bet you are thinking that every time you have seen an addict or alcoholic, they look like they are doing a great job of losing complete control. I do not intend on downplaying how quickly us addicts can dismantle our lives; but don’t get confused, we may be trying to do just that. Addiction is a form of control. It doesn’t tend to be very helpful, but it does insist that you pay attention to it.

When I was using, I don’t think I would have been able to see how much I was desperately using my addiction to communicate. I was so unhappy and didn’t know myself or how to communicate my needs. I felt utterly alone and trapped, and my addiction made me feel powerful. I could choose how I wanted to treat my body and how I wanted to die. Not until I found South Orange County Detox and Treatment, I didn’t understand how much control my addiction had over my life. I now see that I was using because I was actually trying to get help. I was most controlling and rigid when I was using. Now, the hardest part of my treatment has been letting go of control, accepting that I am powerless and surrendering to this process.